Understanding how our childhood affects our adult selves will ultimately help us to improve our interpersonal relationships. We will gain a deeper understanding of our motivation – why we behave the way we do. Our very first relationship – that with our parents or primary caregivers – will shape the way we behave in all of our futue relationships (romantic and otherwise). We learn how to interact by observing, and we learn how to attach based on our earliest experiences with attachment. If our parents support us, nuture us, and work to instill in us a sense of self-identity and inherent value, we will be more inclined to develop healthy and secure relationships in the future. If our parents abandon, neglect, or excessively criticize us, we will likely struggle to develop strong and secure relationships during adulthood. We will lack a solid sense of self-esteem, and our adult attachment style may prevent us from obtaining authentic intimate connection. 

Adult Attachment Styles

When it comes to adult attachment, there are four major categories: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. Your attachment style originates sometime during early childhood, and continues to evolve as you mature. Many of the interpersonal issues you face are directly tied to your attachment style – fortunately, once you become aware of what style you possess, you will be more than capable of making necessary changes. If you underwent significant trauma during childhood (especially trauma inflicted by a parent or caregiver), you may have some personal healing to do before you become capable of healthy intimate attachment. 

Healing Yourself and Strengthening Your Relationships

To learn more about your attachment style and to begin healing, please feel free to contact me today. It is my belief that you can successfully heal yourself while you are involved in a relationship – healing is a personal journey, and the ultimate goal is to strengthen your existing relationships (and learn to develop healthier relationships in the future). Learning to develop healthy attachments while gaining a vital sense of self-awareness will lead to an improved quality of life overall.